To me, conflicts are essential for growth of the relationship between people. In fact, a relationship with frequent conflict may be healthier than one with no observable conflict. This is because to me, conflict gives people the chance to understand and accept the differences between each other.
For example, my boyfriend and I often disagree over issues, small or big. While it is true that sometimes our differences regarding several issues bring about conflicts and we may feel displeasure towards each other, ultimately we always manage to resolve the issue by talking it out calmly and reaching a compromise with each other. At the end of the day, these conflicts and disagreements allow us to understand each other's perspectives and the relationship grows stronger. Thus, I feel that conflicts, when managed properly, allow for growth of relationships between people as it allows us to learn more about and then accept the differences between people.
I'm thankful that in my relationship with my boyfriend thus far, we have managed to overcome our conflicts and have come out stronger after each conflict we had. However, sometimes, when not handled properly, conflicts can cause resentment, hostility and perhaps the ending of the relationship, which can be quite scary and heart-breaking. :(
It is therefore very important that conflict is handled properly so that it can be productive – leading to deeper understanding, mutual respect and closeness between people. The dynamics of a relationship depends not so much on the number of conflicts between participants, but on how the conflicts are resolved.
To me, I feel that effective communication and attitude play big roles in managing conflicts. Thus, here are 3 tips which I feel may be useful for managing interpersonal conflicts:
1) Always try to calm down before speaking to the other party. Anger often causes us to say hurtful things that we may not actually mean.
2) Always remember that everyone bears flaws. With this mindset, we won't be so harsh towards others (:
3) Always try to resolve conflicts on the day itself. Don't go to bed with a belly full of anger because that's not healthy for the relationship, or yourself.
These tips are just some views from my own experience.
Food for thought:
Cat fight...
Hi Xiuxian. An interesting post!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that to some extent conflict is unavoidable. However, I think there are also some circumstances in which we can avoid to involve in the conflict. We can do so by first analyzing ourself, whether we are the one who has been too sensitive or demanding. After that, we need to think further whether our action that may cause conflict or even breakdown in relationship worth it or not.
I agree with you that sometimes after certain conflict, we may become even closer to those people, especially if we manage to resolve the conflict successfully. After the conflict, we tend to be more careful and we don't want to damage the relationship for the second time.
Happy Chinese New Year! :)
Hey xx! I do agree with you that during a conflict, we need to calm down before talking. At the point of anger, hurtful words could be used unintentionally resulting in the worsening of relationship. And usually when we calm down to think about the situation, we would realize that there is actually no need for such an outburst. I also agree that conflicts can allow you to understand others better. Most people tend to avoid conflicts by containing their anger and waiting for time to pass. Avoiding the problem does not solve it and hence the repeat of the same situation might occur. Confronting people takes a lot of courage. It is admirable that you confront people to talk about the problem.
ReplyDeleteI like your 3 tips in in managing interpersonal conflicts.:) "Spilt water is difficult to retrieve" The words we said to each other have power and influence no matter how close we are. We need to be considerate and understanding to each other, especially in personal relationship. I think a good way to build a trong relationship with people who are very unlike us is to stand in his/her position and do not judege quickly. Tolerance and patience are very important.:)
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